BACK at Ranger school, but with a new outlook and ready togo. I didn’t know it yet, but I was less than three weeks away from the biggestnews of my life. More on that later! The drop off was somehow… different. Ifelt more prepared and more focused than the first time, and with that morenervous since I really thought I was leaving for a while. One consequence ofthis excitement was less sleep that night and a good rumbling in my stomach onMonday morning. Each time I started worrying about the rest of the school Istopped and asked for peace, and surprisingly found it to varying degrees!
There were a few thingsI did differently on my second attempt at RS, among which include formatted prayersand a “Rite in the Rain” notebook I call my Motivation Book. In this book,prepared by my amazing wife Kelle, are pictures, prayers, notes and bibleverses all waterproofed with contact paper and packing tape. She left a fewblank pages for me to add any pictures sent to me or to write in motivationalbits picked up on the journey. The book is tan while my normal notebooks wereall green, allowing for easy identification. I kept it in my right shoulderpocket (ACUs) and pulled it out at every chance when I felt homesick (which wasoften, especially at first) or down in any way. I’ll say that as far as worldlytools are concerned, that book was by far the single greatest reason I enduredfor 81 days of Ranger school.
So I was back at it,armed with a renewed faith and with every tool necessary to succeed. Sunday passed and Monday morning came at me like a freight train. From wake-up until…well, until Thursday really… I maintained a solid stream of prayer. These prayers ranged from reading formatted prayers like the prayer of my patron saint Ignatious to simple pleas of “please God carry me.” Surprisingly enough I found myself praying “Lord, I don’t know what your will is here. I think I’m supposed to be here, or I wouldn’t be, but I don’t know how to get through this. If you want me to do this, please give me the strength.” I also asked,over and over again, for the courage to face a challenge. In hindsight I realize it was often a lack of courage that made the task so crazy, not a lack of strength. Don’t get me wrong, next to most of my buddies I’m no crazy PT stud. I was, however, in pretty good shape and I’d been training specifically for Ranger School (RS) for months. I’d also already, by way of IBOLC,demonstrated the ability to complete all of the RAP week tasks. Since RAP week is the drop point for so many three of the major tasks, RPFT, Land Navigation,and 12-mile ruck must all be completed by Infantry LTs prior to attending RS.So I’d shown the ability. What I needed was the peace of heart that can only come from a solid relationship with God to overcome whatever anxiety was holding me back.
I realize that not everyone that attends RS is a Christian, so it’s a lofty statement to claim the need for Christ’s peace to achieve the goal. I’m not claiming that EVERYONE needs that to pass RAP week, just that IIIII did. And, considering the statistics, I’d say some others could certainly benefit from it as well.
Coming back on track, I’d found that peace and for the first time realized it when I got down to do push-ups. When I’d attempted in January I knocked out 49 and got up with no problem. When I got down this time I was so worried about the pull-ups that I hit 30 push-ups and realized I was tired! For the first, but certainly not last, time at RS I frantically reached out to God to petition for strength. The prayer here was different: not an “If you will it God” or a thought-out and well prepared “I’d like to pass this.” Instead it was a “Lord help me” from the very center of my being, and knowing my need He replied with a noticeable boost of energy and the remaining push-ups.
Sit-ups went fine,and I recovered my composure prior to the run. The run was a good time,especially since it gave me a chance to clear my head and pray without a crazy two minute time hack or an RI counting (or worse, NOT counting) over my shoulder. I’d noticed two weeks prior, while doing the “mini-RAP week” for HHC(where they certified LTs to go to RS) that when I prayed while running I ran faster,easier, and felt more fulfilled by the prayer. Don’t get me wrong: I was a little over 200 lbs (standing a whomping 68 inches, or 5’ 8”) and running is NOT my favorite pastime. Running, however, had taken on a new face when I learned that for me it’s a great time to meditate, or in other words, pray. So not only was the run a breeze, but it gave me a chance to really overcome the anxiety I felt in facing the scary pull-up monster once again.
Funny thing happened on the pull-ups that morning. They weren’t hard. AT ALL. In fact, I knocked them out really quick, looked down at my RI (who was growing impatient) and asked “am I good?” to which he smirked “yeah.” If I wasn’t so excited I probably would have asked “are you sure?”, but I chose to dismount and run away before he could change his mind.
This brings about the final prayer piece for what carried me through RS. As important as mentally and emotionally preparing myself via prayerful meditation, or the miraculous aid that came at times of hasty petitions, was the prayer of thanksgiving after realizing that I alone would not have accomplished a task. I’m not saying God only helps those that say “Thank-you sir for bailing me out.” In fact, I think the prayers of thanksgiving were more for my piece of mind, a “no free lunch” type thing, but I think they were just as important none the less.
So in conclusion, I made it through the RPFT and crossed what was for me my “decisive point” of RAP week. I prayed to prepare myself,prayed when I was in over my head, and prayed in thanksgiving when I moved forward. Finally, I found out after coming home that I also had an amazing group of folks praying for me; prayers which, I'm certain, had a direct impact on my daily existence. This prayer basis, and the faith behind it, would become the foundation of every success I had while attending the RTB school for boys, and God willing will continue to be the foundation of my life from here on out.
No comments:
Post a Comment